Things I forgot to remember

Warning: non-cooking post.

Lately, I’ve been on a mini-kick of cleaning out drawers and corners of rooms – trying to eliminate clutter and to clean up things that have been left for too long. I came across a little notebook in my nightstand drawer, one of many that I’ve started over the years as a place to write to-do lists and notes on current thoughts/plans going through my head. This notebook, like all of its forbearers and those who followed, was eventually forgotten and shoved in a drawer – clearly, my method here really works. I took a couple of minutes during my cleaning orgy to leaf through the book. Most of the pages were dated, so I was able to guess at the time period of the entries – most of this dates from fall 2005. Among the pages of to-do lists and lists of dishes that I wanted to prepare in the near future, I came across a list entitled “Today I Will”, a list of things that I should aspire to do in each day – some of them are of a more lofty nature, and some are downright utilitarian (very fitting for me). This particular list really made me think back over the past few years, and all of the ups and downs experienced in that time. Parts of 2005 were difficult, but I do recall that things seemed to be looking up by the fall – I was finally trying to be happier, and I think this list demonstrates some effort to be self aware and to attempt to change my small world from the inside out. The slight upturn that fall did not stick, and I spent the next two to three years swinging back and forth from depression to feelings of muted “happiness”. Looking at this list, I can’t help but to think that if I hadn’t shoved this notebook away and had actually given thought to these items every day, I (and those close to me) may have been able to avoid much hurt and anguish. In the past year or so, things have been much better; I finally feel as though I have a shot at really being satisfied and content. I think that giving consideration to the items on this list may help; this time I won’t forget them. Here is the list in its original order.

Today I will:

Learn something new
Take an interest in something beyond myself
Made today different than yesterday
Show love
Set a goal (small or large)
Breathe deep
Smile
Reflect
Try to understand someone who puzzles me
Recognize what I can control and what I can’t
Stay focused
Work hard, fast and efficiently
Beautify my surroundings
Take a break
Treat yourself right
Take great pleasure in simple things
Find wonder in something complex
Drink more water